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The Devil's Dictionary

by Ambrose Bierce (1842–1913)

  • Free to read
  • 4 hours to read
  • 6 chapters
  • Reading level: 8th & 9th grade

"The Devil's Dictionary" by Ambrose Bierce is a satirical dictionary written over three decades and published in complete form in 1911. This lexicon offers humorous and biting definitions of common words, transforming ordinary language into sharp social commentary. Originally appearing as magazine and newspaper installments beginning in the 1870s, Bierce's witty wordplay was widely imitated and plagiarized before being collected into book form. Now considered a masterpiece of American satire, it has earned international acclaim for its brilliant, howlingly funny take on language and human nature.

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  • English language · Dictionaries · Humor
  • English language · Semantics · Humor
  • Vocabulary · Humor

Read the opening

Chapter C

CAABA, n. A large stone presented by the archangel Gabriel to the patriarch Abraham, and preserved at Mecca. The patriarch had perhaps asked the archangel for bread.

CABBAGE, n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

The cabbage is so called from Cabagius, a prince who on ascending the throne issued a decree appointing a High Council of Empire consisting of the members of his predecessor's Ministry and the cabbages in the royal garden. When any of his Majesty's measures of state policy miscarried conspicuously it was gravely announced that several members of the High Council had been beheaded, and his murmuring subjects were appeased.

CALAMITY, n. A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering. Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.

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Contents

  1. Front Matter
  2. Chapter C
  3. Chapter I
  4. Chapter L: Labor, N. One of the processes by which A acquires property for B
  5. Chapter V
  6. Chapter X

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About this edition

This free edition of The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce comes from Project Gutenberg eBook #972, released 1997-07-01. It is in the public domain in the United States, so you can read it here in full at no cost, on any phone, tablet or computer. Genre: Humour, American Literature, Encyclopedias/Dictionaries/Reference.

Summary provided by Project Gutenberg (automatically generated).

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