The Innocents Abroad

Chapter I: Popular Talk of the Excursion — Programme of the Trip — Duly Ticketed for the Excursion — Defection of the Celebrities

CHAPTER II. Grand Preparations—An Imposing Dignitary—The European Exodus —Mr. Blucher's Opinion—Stateroom No. 10—The Assembling of the Clans —At Sea at Last

CHAPTER III. “Averaging” the Passengers—Far, far at Sea.—Tribulation among the Patriarchs—Seeking Amusement under Difficulties—Five Captains in the Ship

CHAPTER IV. The Pilgrims Becoming Domesticated—Pilgrim Life at Sea —“Horse-Billiards”—The “Synagogue”—The Writing School—Jack's “Journal” —The “Q. C. Club”—The Magic Lantern—State Ball on Deck—Mock Trials —Charades—Pilgrim Solemnity—Slow Music—The Executive Officer Delivers an Opinion

CHAPTER V. Summer in Mid-Atlantic—An Eccentric Moon—Mr. Blucher Loses Confidence —The Mystery of “Ship Time”—The Denizens of the Deep—“Land Hoh” —The First Landing on a Foreign Shore—Sensation among the Natives —Something about the Azores Islands—Blucher's Disastrous Dinner —The Happy Result

CHAPTER VI. Solid Information—A Fossil Community—Curious Ways and Customs —Jesuit Humbuggery—Fantastic Pilgrimizing—Origin of the Russ Pavement —Squaring Accounts with the Fossils—At Sea Again